Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Hardest Half Hour of My Day

So, I'm not exactly what I would refer to as a "crunchy" Mommy. I don't cloth diaper. I'm not breastfeeding my kid past the first year. They don't need to wear organic clothing. I'm not going to throw out my television, and I believe 100% that children should play sports competitively. Score gets kept and every kid doesn't always play. Do I make my own baby food? Yes. Do I love to breastfeed my baby? Absolutely. But I'm not a fan of sharing my bed with my kid, for a lot of reasons. Mainly because I like my sleep, but also because I like my space. I don't want to deal with my five year old (and four year, and goodness knows how many other kids we'll have by then) climbing in my bed all the time. And I like to have rules, like "you sleep in your own bed." You know, logical reasons.

I never thought I would be a co sleeping Mommy. And I'm not really. At night Reese goes down in her bassinet. When she wakes up, I pull her in bed with me, clear a perimeter of space, and start to feed her laying side by side. She falls asleep quickly, and while I never exactly fall back "asleep," I also don't "wake up." As soon as she's done eating I place her back in her bassinet and she stays asleep.

This little pattern typically takes place around 5:30. If it's Saturday through Monday I put her back in her bassinet and get up around 7:30 when we hear Wyatt wake up. If it's Tuesday through Friday, my alarm typically goes off before she's done eating. So I hit snooze. And I just stare at her. I think about how I don't want to leave her. I think about how cute she looks sleeping against me. I think about how stinking warm I am and how cold it is out of bed. And then I don't want to get up. But why would I want to leave someone who looks this cute sleeping?

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